This is one of my favorite issues we’ve done in a while a) because this topic has been hotly requested and I love giving you guys what you ask for, and b) researching it involved me sitting down and listening to the wise words of one of my favorite people: my dad, who also happens to be my trainer.
I never get tired of hearing my dad talk about the thing he loves most in this world: wellbeing. I’m biased, but he’s a fascinating guy, and I think you’ll agree reading our conversation. Plus, he breaks down his exercise philosophy in a way that makes it so simple to understand and implement into life — some might say that’s his superpower.
Inside the issue: why we need to reframe ‘exercise’ as ‘movement’, how to stay motivated when you don’t feel like going to the gym, the ‘Pete-approved’ nutrition system, a Hollywood trick for increasing your self-esteem (I’ve done this and it works), and why we don’t work out with music.
Before we start, let me set up my dad for you.
Pete was born in New York City and moved to California when he was a senior in high school. Exercise was always important to him, whether he was playing basketball, lacrosse, or doing karate. (He excelled at all three.) When he was in college, between his studies and an advertising job, my dad started training a few people in Hollywood – keep in mind this was the ‘80s, before trainers were a thing — and word got around that he was good. The business grew from there. “I’ve always loved the way I feel after exercise,” he tells me, and through our conversation, you’ll understand how he helps others (myself included) love it too.
Be honest, what is it like for you to train me?
Wow. I've worked with some of the most well-known people in the world — from actors to actresses to directors to producers. I love them all. But I’d say this loud and clear to any one of them: Nothing tops the pleasure I get from working with my daughter. What I hope to do is change people's lives, make them feel a little bit better than they did before they came into the gym. Knowing that I'm doing that for my daughter gives me tremendous pleasure.
What is something you secretly wish your clients (me included) would stop doing during workouts?
I'm a disciplined person. I train at one o'clock in the morning. I'm by myself. I have zero distractions. So one of my pet peeves is when I'm working with a client and they have to send a quick text or let the dogs out. Any interruption kind of irks me. I'm trying to get every client completely focused on themself. I'm a firm believer that it's okay to be completely selfish for one hour a day.
What do you think keeps people motivated to stay consistent with their exercise beyond the aesthetics or physical appearance side of it?
When I start working with somebody, I always tell them one thing: I work from the inside out. Maybe you hired me because you want abs or lean arms, and that's all well and good. You'll see changes because we're going to do the work; I can guarantee that's going to happen. But it’s so much more than that. Working from the inside out really gets the person focused on themself, not the mirror. They start to feel their muscles work, feel themselves sweating, and feel the accomplishment that comes from doing the work. It's emotional. It's mental. It's that connection to the body.
I work out to stay fit, but it's almost the last reason I do it anymore. I love it because it's the only time of day that I can check out entirely. Plus, we often work out early so we finish before the rush of the day sets in. But I feel like I've gotten to that place where I move for my mental health.
One of the main benefits of movement — which is a bigger word than exercise — is that there's a reward, which is a release of endorphins. You gotta move to receive that reward.
What advice do you have for someone who needs motivation to move?
People lose motivation and stop training when they can't maintain a certain level of exercise for the rest of their lives. It's unrealistic to think you'll do a HIIT program every single day for the rest of your life; it's not even safe. So, every gym I go into, yours included, the first thing I ask the person I’m training is: ‘How do you feel today?’ I'm prepared; my programs are already written, but I write them in pencil, not ink. So when you tell me you only slept three hours and you’re tired, I adjust the movements accordingly. I don't pull out a paper and say, 'Sorry, here's what we're doing.' That breaks down the immune system, which, I don't want to get too technical, but it means your recovery will take forever, and you won’t feel good. When you’re a little tired, I give you a little more time between movements to recover, and you leave feeling good. Then, when you're feeling one hundred percent, I’ll decrease the recovery time between movements. You take a recovery breath and a quick sip, and you're moving again. If you can focus on asking yourself, 'How do I feel today?' and answer it honestly — this is the honors system — and move your body to the best of your ability, then you’ll feel great. I can't give you an exact timeline, but within a couple of months, you should see a significant change. You’ll want to be wearing a name tag so people know who you are.
Anyone who knows me knows I love my sweets. I love having a Saturday picnic with the girls and going to Trader Joe's beforehand, grabbing every snack in sight, and trying them all. I used to have that moment after where I’d be like, 'Why did I do that? It was so indulgent.' I don't do that anymore because I enjoy sweets and snacks, and the company. But something you've always said to me is you can't change your body overnight, and you can't mess it up overnight either. I might be slightly misquoting you, so how do you explain that?
If you've been training for two months, you've made some serious changes. If you miss a workout or have a great meal, your body won’t revert to where it was two months ago. When it comes to nutrition, I talk about ‘Pete-approved’ eating. Nice and clean, but nothing crazy, just sensible choices and portions. I don't believe in intermittent fasting. I don't believe in only eating sunflower seeds. That's crazy to me. But if you've been eating well and moving, and you go out with your girlfriends for a great picnic with all the Trader Joe's snacks and an Angel margarita, guess what? You didn't do any damage. You only do mental damage by thinking, 'Oh no, I just blew it.' You didn’t.
Right. Can you explain what ‘Pete-approved’ nutrition is and what it looks like?
My nutritional philosophy is more about behavior than it is a menu. It's unrealistic to think you’ll go through life without having a chocolate chip cookie or a piece of pizza. That's just setting yourself up for failure. Pete-approved refers to the way you eat food and how much of it. This is all relative to the person.
Generally speaking, I educate my clients that their body requires fuel to complete two types of tasks: physical tasks, which are exercise or movement, and chemical tasks, which are automatic, like breathing, blinking, crying, thinking, etc. Calories are the fuel. The body requires more calories to complete a physical task than it does a chemical task. That right there will help you determine how much food you should have for lunch. It's a simple equation you can make for yourself: How much energy are you putting out? If you’re sitting at your desk and working all morning, you’re doing chemical tasks. So make a sandwich (or buy one), eat half at noon when you’re hungry, but leave the other half — no one's going to take it. Then, in two hours, when it's two o'clock, eat the other half. At that point, your body has metabolized the calories and needs more. If you can be disciplined like that, that’s going to bleed into every area of your life.
How do you help people unlearn toxic eating habits and diet culture while still staying healthy? Sometimes it feels like there’s a lot of pressure to ‘look the part.’ But how do you help clients not spiral into comparison and body obsession?
Someone else’s body is not attainable for you. If you feel good about yourself, you'll have the body you want. But you need to feel good about yourself. Right now. Today. That's an exercise. You can't just say, 'Oh, I feel good about myself.' You have to believe it. I do an exercise with clients when I'm training them for a project, and I say, ‘Go out and get three compliments.’ How do you do that? You can't ask for them. But you've been training and eating well. Regardless of what you're wearing, you feel good about yourself. Feeling good about yourself increases your self-esteem. And you won't get three compliments, you'll get five.
That's a really fun exercise. I've done it before. I remember you telling me that one morning in the gym. I honestly forgot about it and just got ready and went about my day. It didn't hit me until I got that first compliment, and you do carry yourself differently. It's not cockiness, it's just…
It's self-esteem. You're working from the inside out. That's positive energy and a positive body affirmation that you can take anywhere and everywhere for the rest of your life. If everyone who feels insecure about themself tries that, they'll change themselves pretty quickly.
People would probably be taken aback to learn that we don't play music during workouts. I think there are a few reasons why. First of all, if I hear a song I like, all of a sudden I’m doing karaoke. And God, if there’s a mirror, I’m putting on a show. Or, I find myself walking to a song’s BPM or not counting my reps to the cadence of the reps, but to the beat of the song. It throws me off. Working out is a time to shut off and just listen to my breath and my body. I’ll listen to music in the car.
It throws you because you're distracted. It’s the same for me. I really enjoy that time in the gym, and I don't want to share it with anyone or music. It's just me.
I like that you reframe exercise as movement. I've had to apply that to my life a lot. I know I feel better after movement, but there are days when the last thing I want to do is go into the gym.
We're only human. If you don't want to go to the gym, don't go. Go outside, take a walk, or jog. Maybe stop after five or ten minutes. Maybe do some squats or pushups. You'll come home and feel a lot better. If you focus on how you feel and adjust accordingly, you'll get the most out of every day.
When is soreness okay, and when is being sore a sign to scale back?
You can expect soreness when you start movement after your muscles have been dormant. But you shouldn't be sore after every workout. If you are, you’re either overtraining and undereating, or underhydrating, or you're doing movements incorrectly. If you're changing things up or adding movement, a little bit of soreness is okay. But you shouldn't be deep-muscle sore after every workout; that's a sign there’s a deficiency somewhere.
What's a realistic way to increase protein? I feel like everyone is after that.
A lot of people don't understand that a lot of our food contains protein. You like broccoli, right? Broccoli has protein. And fiber. And other nutrients. The big sources of protein are fish, meat, and poultry. If you're on the go, a quick way to increase protein is a powder or a protein drink. That's easy.
Over your whole career, what’s the biggest thing your clients have taught you about fitness?
They've taught me that everybody is different. There's no one-size-fits-all.
Knowing fitness is not a one-size-fits-all plan, where should someone start if they’re trying to increase movement mindfully wherever they are?
Great question. Ask yourself: What do I want to achieve in the next two weeks? Set short-term goals. Maybe you walk up the stairs and feel winded, so you work on your endurance. For the next two weeks, just address that short-term goal. Then two weeks go by, and you're feeling better because you've been disciplined. Now you want to work on strengthening your muscles, and we add some resistance to your movement training. Set attainable short-term goals.
It’s probably clear where I get my love of goal-setting! I’m so grateful to my dad, not only for indulging me with this interview but for helping me find well-being in my own life.
On a fun note, I was able to gather a few quotes from some of my dad’s clients.
Here are their takeaways (and a tattoo!)
“I am so proud to be 'Pete Approved'…so much so that I got it tattooed on my arm to remind me every day to stay focused and disciplined. Working with Pete has been nothing short of life-changing. Not only has he taught me about nutrition, discipline, and how to transform my body, but he also helps me become a better human being every single day. He reminds me that true strength isn’t just physical — it’s mental, emotional, and spiritual.” -Sarah Hudson
“Pete has totally changed my life. Not only have I lost 50 pounds and actually like what I see in the mirror, but he’s also taught me to respect myself. He’s been an amazing mentor and gives me great life/dad advice. He taught me about integrity and has given me self-esteem. I wake up every morning and look at myself in the mirror, and remind myself who I am and who I am becoming. ‘Everybody wants discipline…very few have it’ -PS.” -Jason Evigan
Finally, I know many of you are focused on getting back into movement, taking it up a notch, or maintaining the level you’re comfortable with. I thought it might be helpful to share some of my favorite workout gear. This is the stuff I swear by (I also asked my dad for recs).
TO WATCH: My “Most Girls” music video feat my dad!! I remembered this throwback when we were putting together this issue.
TO READ: This viral essay on the death of partying. I say it all the time, but this data really makes me want to start casually hosting more.
TO WRITE: This journal includes prompts for finding the profound in the everyday. The examples are so good.
TO MAKE: The least boring salad I’ve ever seen.
TO SHOP: “Sport jeans.”
TO REMEMBER: Life is about direction, not speed.
Love,
Hailee (Beau)
Highlighting your comments on the previous week’s issue. Today, we hear Emily’s response to 5 things inspiring me this week.
“Love the newsletter — absolute highlight of my week. My favorite thing to recommend in New York City is getting a private karaoke room in Chinatown with friends. So silly and lighthearted, and everyone loves getting to sing their heart out without having to share the mic haha” -Emily
