Happy Friday, my loves! I can’t tell you how happy I am to chat with you. It’s been a busy week. Life kinda feels like a big multiperson conference call where everyone has something important to say and I’m trying to listen, breathe, and mentally index what’s really important and which lines I can hang up and let go.
So, because it’s top of mind, I’m sending out a ‘how to f*%!'ng relax’ newsletter this week — minus all the platitudes, because I hate when I’m in a stressful moment and someone says, “Just try not to stress.” Like…thanks? Hopefully, something in here hits for you and you can call back to it when you’re on the phone with your mom, suddenly on the verge of tears, and can’t pinpoint exactly why. I’m not an expert, but these tips have been helping me in moments of overwhelm.
Inside this issue: 7 things I remind myself in moments of anxiety, the first-ever BS journal prompt (I want to hear from you!), and more BS, including a quote on how to live a creative life and an innovation on the women’s health front.
I’ve never been great about Instagram. I use it to share my work projects, not as a way to connect with people I love. For connection, it’s a dinner at a deli downtown (where I order the matzo ball soup), a long phone call, or a quick voice note. Of course, I connect with all of you here in this newsletter, and I’m so grateful for that. But when I’m in survival mode or feeling sensitive, I do my best to stay off social media altogether. I know myself, and in those moments of craziness, the last thing I need to see is a friend’s trip to Cannes. I love you and can’t wait to hear about it…in person.
If you’re stressed, you’re stressed. That’s okay! Heck, I felt stressed more times than I can count this week. But it never lasts. Sometimes, just acknowledging the transient nature of emotions helps them pass faster. (I don’t know if there’s science to back that, but that’s how it feels.) I might have a dramatic moment — it’s a moment — but then it’s done and over, and life keeps right on going.
I’m not great at this. Being an actor for so many years, I’ve been conditioned to think that I have to say yes to everything immediately or I’ll never work again. I’m trying to unlearn that and be okay passing when it doesn’t make sense for me, or I simply don’t have the bandwidth. Maybe you have to pass on a night out with your friends, which you were looking forward to, because you don’t have the energy. Bow out, reschedule, and rest. Saying no to something is really saying yes to something else, and that’s usually yourself.
I ask myself, “What’s the worst that could happen?” probably too often. It’s forced catastrophizing, but also puts things into perspective. Let’s say you’re hosting your friends for dinner. What’s the worst that could happen? No one shows up. That’s crazy, they're your friends and will communicate with you if something comes up. But thinking about the worst case immediately takes the pressure off the less significant details, like what bowl the salad is in.
Sometimes when I’m focusing really hard on one specific thing, I need to break from it, zoom out a little bit. Like this week, I called my brother and we talked about something in his world that’s totally separate from what’s occupying my brainspace. It helped pull me out of my bubble, and of course, I always love chatting with that guy. (By the way, I heard you and I’m going to bring him on for an issue!)
Greer said this in a previous newsletter, but I love it and think about it a lot, so it bears repeating. We all have different personalities, sensitivities, and communication styles. Despite that, by and large, we’re all doing the best we can. When disagreements arise — and they will — I remind myself that whoever I’m talking to is another human doing their best. It’s a pressure valve.
A cliché (I know), but when you’re bouncing all over the place emotionally, be extra kind to yourself. Take a beat to remind yourself that you’ve got this (whatever ‘this’ is). For what it’s worth, I believe in you!
I want this list to evolve, so send me any thoughts that have come up for you.
If you feel comfortable, reply to this email with your response. We’ll share some in upcoming newsletters.
Talk about a recent time you were stressed or overwhelmed, how you handled it, and what you learned on the other side.
TO READ: “How to get smart again.” Love this.
TO LISTEN TO: This podcast on “high-functioning codependency.”
TO BUY: An easy white top. Summer staple.
TO KNOW ABOUT: At-home cervical cancer screening has been FDA-approved.
TO TAKE WITH YOU: “My definition of a creative life is a life where your decisions are routinely based on curiosity instead of fear.” -Jessie Randall
Love,
Hailee (Beau)
Highlighting your comments on the previous week’s issue. Today, we hear Emily’s response to You asked, I answered.
“Thank you always for another great issue. It’s usually the highlight of my work day on Friday! I absolutely love reading the AMA issues as it feels like such a cool way to feel connected, and I always feel like I find out so many cool behind-the-scenes snippets. Like using vodka to get that wig off?! That’s wild haha. Thank you so much for opening up your world to us every week!” -Emily
